Experience

"He told me that it had all happened one winter day, as he was looking at a barren tree. Although the tree's leaves were indeed gone, he knew that they would soon reappear, followed by blossomsm and then fruit. This gave hima profound impression of God's providence and power, which never left him. [He] still maintains that this impression detached him entirely from the world and gave him such a great love for God that it hasn't changed in all of the forty years he has been walking with Him."
(Practicing the Presence of God pg. 11)

"And then at night, Jesus Christ Himself came. He came to me and that was real. That was not a dream. That was not a vision. It was real. It was after midnight. I was alone in that room - in the hospital. The whole room was glittered in light. There was - There was Jesus Christ, and He was real. He was there. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, Jesus. He was there. Jesus was there. He was real, and He talked to me. He said, "Yes, I am the one to give you a new life. Glory to You Jesus. He said to me, yes, I am the one to give you a new life."
(Former Ethiopian Prime Minister Tamrat Layne)

"And as he journeyed he came near Damascus, and suddenly a light shone around him from heaven. Then he fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him, "Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?"...."Then Saul arose from the ground and when his eyes were opened he saw no one."
(Acts 9:3-8)


"And when I saw Him, I fell at His feet as dead."
(Revelation 1:17)

Tonight I'm just thinking about my whole experience with Jesus. I have come across these experiences with Him in the past couple of days. These people were completely changed after their encounters with the Son of God. My first encounter with God was a young child in the back of a car looking out the window with tears rolling down my cheeks trying to figure out how a God that could make such beautiful stars could die for a child as bad as I was. Later, I encountered Him again at a worship night in a youth group. I heard Him speak that night. I would again encounter Him in my bedroom after I told the people I lived with that I was moving out to walk away from God and run after the world as hard as I could.

Every experience I have had with Jesus has been life changing. As I look at this life and the journey I have been on, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Of course it hasn't been easy. Of course I have fallen. Who hasn't? But every time, there is Jesus with His hands wide open, catching me and holding me up.

Oh, friend, if you are reading this, I pray you know the same Christ that so many have experienced. I pray that He changes your life and fills you with the same love and acceptance that He has offered so many. And just like with the Prime Minister, Jesus is waiting to give you a new life. I hope you will live it.

Holding On

Was in prayer tonight, just kind of talking to Jesus about my incessant drawing towards the world and away from Him. The song that was playing mentioned something about "teach me how to cling to You?" That rolled around in my head over and over again. Teach me how to cling to You. And I started thinking about a story I once heard.

There was a guy named Jacob. He was one of the best deceivers I've ever heard about (besides myself when I am not walking with Jesus..haha). Well, he deceived his brother out of his very own birthright. This, of course, means nothing to us as today our words and vows and birthrights are of no value. Back then, though, they were a huge deal. Well, needless to say, the brother was pretty ticked. Well Jacob was on his way back to the land of his brother, 2 wives, eleven sons, and deceitful repayments later. He just knew his brother was ticked. I honestly think, he kind of knew who he was. He knew everything he had done. He knew what was going down. He just knew that things weren't good.

Well, he comes to this place and somehow ends up alone. I love the Bible's wording; it just says, "Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day." Jacob was wrestling throughout the night. Whether it was Jesus or God or an angel, I don't care - stronger than me. I can almost see Jacob saying, I don't care - I'm not letting go until you tell me everything is going to be okay. It took strength and power. And tonight, I thought about it, that Man wasn't running or pushing away. He was engaging in that wrestling match.

And something hit me. You know, lately, I've been talking about my constant drawing to the world. Tonight I was praying for a drawing to the Lord. And it was like this new fight just rose up within me. It was like I took the Spirit of God and put Him in a headlock (as reverently and fearful as possible of course) and said, I'm not going to let You go until my life is so evidently changed that there is a physical difference in my everyday life. And it's almost like I could hear Jesus laughing because I don't have to wrestle to get that. He wants to be a part of life and passion with me even more than I want it! He is holding me anyway. He isn't running and trying to hide for me to find. He's just there, waiting for me to realize it.

This fight is a good thing. I guess that's an important part. If I can just get the fight inside of me to have a desire to only want Christ and nothing else, the other stuff will happen. Like the theme verse of my life right now. "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto You." (Matt 6:33)

So, what do you need to wrestle with God about? Know this - he isn't running away. He wants to engage with you in life more than you want it. Tell me some things that you wrestle with and what it means to wrestle with God in those situations.

The Happy Fast (Again)

"Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto You." (Matthew 6:33)

I have a very bad habit. I will drive down the road and consistently look at the same exact signs, the same exact advertisements, the same words every time I drive by. It's like my eyes are drawn by a magnet to these things. I read them over and over and over again. What probably makes it even more annoying to those around me is that I will then make it my point to read the words every time I see them.

I have realized that I have that bad habit in more than just the area of signs and words. It's true in life. For the past 10 years of walking with (and running away from) God, I have revisited the same issues over and over and over and over again. What makes that even more annoying is that I consistently hurt the same people in the process.

Lately, I've just been thinking about my walk with God and this bad cycle I have of spiritual highs and lows. I have come to realize that part of the reason I consistently look away from the One who is set before me is that I like the other stuff I am looking at it. I am drawn to it. There is some magnetic force that is pulling my eyes away from the path before me. The bad thing about that is that it usually ends up in a crash, and people get hurt.

I've been looking at my Christian life and realizing that I have enjoyed the world and its ways. Yet, in my mind, I know that "friendship with the world is enmity with God" (somewhere in the Bible). I also know that this friendship with the world is the cause of those spiritual highs and lows. I am trying to find fulfillment in something that is empty and void itself. I am seeking happiness in somewhere else besides "the Kingdom of God and His righteousness."

So, I find myself in a new take on my what seems like "Happy Fast." Hence, the new desire to start writing again. I'm looking in all the wrong places to keep me happy. Really, I should just be looking to Jesus and falling in love with Him. So, here's to a brand new start and a journey before me that I don't think even I know where it will take me.

Suffering?

"Dear God, how could they hurt me?" "Dear God, how could they do this to me?" "Dear God, I am so ____(fill in the blank)___!" "Dear God, why won't you ___(fill in the blank)___?"

Ever had those thoughts? Nah, me either. Ha! Yeah right! Maybe the real answer should be, has anyone not had those thoughts? Suffering is a big part of life. Unfortunately, suffering happens: people hurt us, the devil steals things/people away from us, the economy goes bad, oil spills in the Gulf Coast, fingernails break, and someone steals your bike. These things happen! Don't they stink? Gosh, I hate when stuff happens to me. I hate being hurt and vulnerable. Yet, I seem to hold on to the suffering. I might beat myself up. I might stay mad at someone forever (and you haven't seen that until you know me and how long I can hold a grudge - it's ridiculous!).

I read about suffering this morning. It's in a part of scripture that I just can't seem to get away from - James 5:13-20. James 5:13 says, "Is anyone among you suffering, let him pray."

It is such a simple verse. Yet, upon doing a Greek word study of the verse, I saw things in a new light. The word suffering, akin to afflicted, means afflicted. Isn't that surprising? Haha! It actually hints at some sort of enemy or opponent. Then there is the word, pray. What is so interesting about this Greek word is that it is composed of a word just meaning to talk to God and another root word that is directional; and not just directional, but a directional meant for a change.

Why is that so important? What do you do when you are suffering? I usually sit in my pity party or squander in misery in a circle of questions and tears. That's not hte answer, though. The answer is to turn towards God, direct your suffering towards Him, releasing your hold on it, and looking for a change.

That's really small, but it helps me move on to the next part of the verse about being cheerful & singing! God cares for the small things - when you are suffering, talk to Him, give Him your suffering and expect things to change. That's what the verse is there for.

Interesting Commercials

I saw both of these videos recently. I thought they were worth posting. The first one is hilarious! The second one just really makes you think, especially if you are a woman. Take a look and let me know what you think.






I told you it would make you think.

He Knows Me

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you" (Jeremiah 1:5a NKJV).

Have you ever met a celebrity? I'm not talking about a local weather man (although in the town I live in, the local weather man's social standing is equal to that of any celebrity you may see on People Magazine or interviewing on Oprah) or a local small-town athlete. I am talking about a real celebrity. You know, someone whose in multiple movies, who owns a multi-million dollar home, and who gets into and miraculously gets out of scandalous occurrences only enjoyable to the rich and famous! Have you ever met one? No, I haven't either.

The closest I ever got was in Walt Disney World. I saw a man coming out of the Crystal Palace restaurant who looked rather familiar. I soon recognized him to be Brad Garrett. You know, the big kind of dead-pan guy from "Everybody Loves Raymond." Well, to be honest, I was too scared to go talk to him. Now, he isn't like my favorite celebrity or anything. He's just someone that I know has been in movies. My best friend's mom finally decided to speak up, and so we met him and shared a few jokes. So, Brad Garrett met Samantha. Amazing, right? Wrong. At no time after our meeting did he ever go around and say, "Hey, I know Samantha." Yeah, I can say that I met him, but can I say that we know each other? No, I really can't.

I am obviously no celebrity. I have never been in any movie besides the ones made at home, I don't even own a $2 home, and my idea of a scandal is getting caught driving with my knees instead of my hands. I do know Someone who is "kind of a big deal," though. You know the amazing thing. He would say that He knows me, too. Want to be even more amazed? He knew me before we even met? Isn't it funny that although I can meet a semi-celebrity, I wouldn't say that I knew him, yet, God knew and knows me even before we met?

God formed me. Those three words blow my mind. They render me speechless. What makes it even better is that God formed me and knew me. He knew before I was even born all my little quirks and faults and oddities. Yet, He still formed me. That is the basis of all that my life is. I am just a woman who is walking this life out with the realization that God formed me for a purpose and that I get to live that purpose out, knowing Him. I pray that my journey thus far can point you into the place where you know God. Like I said before, "He's kind of a big deal."

Sam

AAHH!

For today to be my day off, I wasn't off. I slept in a little late (8:05am to be exact). I woke up and my day and my mind began running. I must say I got a lot done today. I kind of felt like this day is a whir.

Unfortunately, I did base the value of my day on how much I checked off my to do list. I do that a lot. You can pray for me in that area. Although I did A WHOLE LOT OF STUFF (including making Pasta Salad for a party tomorrow night, laundry, cleaning the house, organizing my checkbook, paying some bills, contacting parents for our middle school group, addressing and sending off letters raising money for a prolife campaign, etc.), I still feel like I failed because I can think of at least one thing I didn't do today. Isn't that crazy?!?

Why is it that we are such a task-oriented society? Why is it that if I'm not super lazy, I'm super task-oriented? Why can't I just accept that what I get done is good enough for the day, as long as that time was spent doing God's agenda for my day?!?

That's the key - God's agenda needs to be my agenda. Lord, help us line up our lives with Your agenda.

Sam