Experience

"He told me that it had all happened one winter day, as he was looking at a barren tree. Although the tree's leaves were indeed gone, he knew that they would soon reappear, followed by blossomsm and then fruit. This gave hima profound impression of God's providence and power, which never left him. [He] still maintains that this impression detached him entirely from the world and gave him such a great love for God that it hasn't changed in all of the forty years he has been walking with Him."
(Practicing the Presence of God pg. 11)

"And then at night, Jesus Christ Himself came. He came to me and that was real. That was not a dream. That was not a vision. It was real. It was after midnight. I was alone in that room - in the hospital. The whole room was glittered in light. There was - There was Jesus Christ, and He was real. He was there. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, Jesus. He was there. Jesus was there. He was real, and He talked to me. He said, "Yes, I am the one to give you a new life. Glory to You Jesus. He said to me, yes, I am the one to give you a new life."
(Former Ethiopian Prime Minister Tamrat Layne)

"And as he journeyed he came near Damascus, and suddenly a light shone around him from heaven. Then he fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him, "Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?"...."Then Saul arose from the ground and when his eyes were opened he saw no one."
(Acts 9:3-8)


"And when I saw Him, I fell at His feet as dead."
(Revelation 1:17)

Tonight I'm just thinking about my whole experience with Jesus. I have come across these experiences with Him in the past couple of days. These people were completely changed after their encounters with the Son of God. My first encounter with God was a young child in the back of a car looking out the window with tears rolling down my cheeks trying to figure out how a God that could make such beautiful stars could die for a child as bad as I was. Later, I encountered Him again at a worship night in a youth group. I heard Him speak that night. I would again encounter Him in my bedroom after I told the people I lived with that I was moving out to walk away from God and run after the world as hard as I could.

Every experience I have had with Jesus has been life changing. As I look at this life and the journey I have been on, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Of course it hasn't been easy. Of course I have fallen. Who hasn't? But every time, there is Jesus with His hands wide open, catching me and holding me up.

Oh, friend, if you are reading this, I pray you know the same Christ that so many have experienced. I pray that He changes your life and fills you with the same love and acceptance that He has offered so many. And just like with the Prime Minister, Jesus is waiting to give you a new life. I hope you will live it.

Suffering?

"Dear God, how could they hurt me?" "Dear God, how could they do this to me?" "Dear God, I am so ____(fill in the blank)___!" "Dear God, why won't you ___(fill in the blank)___?"

Ever had those thoughts? Nah, me either. Ha! Yeah right! Maybe the real answer should be, has anyone not had those thoughts? Suffering is a big part of life. Unfortunately, suffering happens: people hurt us, the devil steals things/people away from us, the economy goes bad, oil spills in the Gulf Coast, fingernails break, and someone steals your bike. These things happen! Don't they stink? Gosh, I hate when stuff happens to me. I hate being hurt and vulnerable. Yet, I seem to hold on to the suffering. I might beat myself up. I might stay mad at someone forever (and you haven't seen that until you know me and how long I can hold a grudge - it's ridiculous!).

I read about suffering this morning. It's in a part of scripture that I just can't seem to get away from - James 5:13-20. James 5:13 says, "Is anyone among you suffering, let him pray."

It is such a simple verse. Yet, upon doing a Greek word study of the verse, I saw things in a new light. The word suffering, akin to afflicted, means afflicted. Isn't that surprising? Haha! It actually hints at some sort of enemy or opponent. Then there is the word, pray. What is so interesting about this Greek word is that it is composed of a word just meaning to talk to God and another root word that is directional; and not just directional, but a directional meant for a change.

Why is that so important? What do you do when you are suffering? I usually sit in my pity party or squander in misery in a circle of questions and tears. That's not hte answer, though. The answer is to turn towards God, direct your suffering towards Him, releasing your hold on it, and looking for a change.

That's really small, but it helps me move on to the next part of the verse about being cheerful & singing! God cares for the small things - when you are suffering, talk to Him, give Him your suffering and expect things to change. That's what the verse is there for.

He Knows Me

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you" (Jeremiah 1:5a NKJV).

Have you ever met a celebrity? I'm not talking about a local weather man (although in the town I live in, the local weather man's social standing is equal to that of any celebrity you may see on People Magazine or interviewing on Oprah) or a local small-town athlete. I am talking about a real celebrity. You know, someone whose in multiple movies, who owns a multi-million dollar home, and who gets into and miraculously gets out of scandalous occurrences only enjoyable to the rich and famous! Have you ever met one? No, I haven't either.

The closest I ever got was in Walt Disney World. I saw a man coming out of the Crystal Palace restaurant who looked rather familiar. I soon recognized him to be Brad Garrett. You know, the big kind of dead-pan guy from "Everybody Loves Raymond." Well, to be honest, I was too scared to go talk to him. Now, he isn't like my favorite celebrity or anything. He's just someone that I know has been in movies. My best friend's mom finally decided to speak up, and so we met him and shared a few jokes. So, Brad Garrett met Samantha. Amazing, right? Wrong. At no time after our meeting did he ever go around and say, "Hey, I know Samantha." Yeah, I can say that I met him, but can I say that we know each other? No, I really can't.

I am obviously no celebrity. I have never been in any movie besides the ones made at home, I don't even own a $2 home, and my idea of a scandal is getting caught driving with my knees instead of my hands. I do know Someone who is "kind of a big deal," though. You know the amazing thing. He would say that He knows me, too. Want to be even more amazed? He knew me before we even met? Isn't it funny that although I can meet a semi-celebrity, I wouldn't say that I knew him, yet, God knew and knows me even before we met?

God formed me. Those three words blow my mind. They render me speechless. What makes it even better is that God formed me and knew me. He knew before I was even born all my little quirks and faults and oddities. Yet, He still formed me. That is the basis of all that my life is. I am just a woman who is walking this life out with the realization that God formed me for a purpose and that I get to live that purpose out, knowing Him. I pray that my journey thus far can point you into the place where you know God. Like I said before, "He's kind of a big deal."

Sam

From Jacob To Jesus Part II

“Now Jacob lifted his eyes and looked, and there, Esau was coming, and with him were four hundred men. So he divided the children among Leah, Rachel, and the two maidservants. And he put the maidservants and their children in front, Leah and her children behind, and Rachel and Joseph last. Then he crossed over before them and bowed himself to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother. But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.”
Genesis 33:1-4

Oh, the air is getting hot and dry. It can’t be any drier than your mouth. That rock in your throat doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, either. Today is the big day. Look at those you love cause it’s your last day on this planet. Many years ago, you hurt him. Why are you stuck in this mess? You knew what you did was wrong. Are you really that horrible? You stole your own brother’s very pride and dignity from him for a bowl of soup. He was dumb to take it. Yet, is a drug dealer better than the person buying the drugs? How could you? Well, it’s easy to see now, in hindsight, how stupid that was. And you would think that you would learn from that. But you didn’t. Soon after, you tricked your own father. Didn’t you remember that God had already promised you would be blessed? Didn’t you remember that God always comes through? And yet, that wasn’t good enough. You decided to take matters into your own hands. You played on that old man’s blindness and you stole your brother’s life, yet again. Then you couldn’t even stand up and be a man to him. You ran. What a coward!
And now, that same feeling is coming back. Here comes your brother. You know he’s out to steal your life like you did his. You know he’s out to take back his dignity by killing the very person who ruined his trust in anyone but himself. He’s after you, and you want to run. Something inside, though, tells you not to. Your legs only seem to march forward. You can’t run anymore. That rock in your throat gets harder as you see what looks like your brother from afar. So, you lower yourself, bowing to him. Maybe he’ll get the hint that you are sorry. Maybe he’ll get the hint that you don’t want a fight.
And then, that moment comes. Esau begins to run towards you. What do you do? Do you defend yourself? Do you fight him? Do you just let him kill you in the moment, in front of your wife and your kids? What do you do?
He gets to you and you look in his eyes. There is surprising warmth to them. You don’t remember that being there before. And then…he hugs you. You stand there, shocked. Something wet drips down your neck. He’s crying. That rock in your throat turns into tears, and you can’t hold them back. Without any words, you know what’s happened. He’s forgiven you.

Dead Tree in Winter

I have tried very hard in this blog to express something that was birthed in me today. Sometimes my communication skills seem to be inadequate for the thoughts that go on in my head. I pray that this blog entry makes sense and expresses my desire to enjoy God and know that He is passionate about me and you.

In his book, Practicing the Presence of God, Brother Lawrence writes about an experience in his life. He says that one day God spoke to him or revealed something to him through a dead tree in winter. That point completely changed Brother Lawrence's view on everything. From that moment on, he was determined to serve God. He also writes that it changed his spiritual life so much that he was never able to determine whether or not he was growing spiritually. His passionate love for Christ was so great from the beginning that his quest to grow seemed too hard to distinguish.
I read his account. I've even tried to stare at a dead tree in winter. I've asked God to reveal the same thing to me that He showed Brother Lawrence. Still, I am unable to get it.

Today, I was riding home from a very frustrating class. Well, on the way home, I was just thinking about things and listening to the radio. Then it happened. Out of nowhere, I saw something that I knew was more than just one of those run-of-the-mill occurrences. I watched as a bus let a little elementary school girl off at her stop. She carefully crossed the road, making sure to look both ways before she crossed. She was in no hurry. I looked down the road, and I saw a woman (I'm assuming the little girl's mother) walking towards the bus stop with a dog. When those two saw each other- when their eyes met, I saw both of them pick up their pace. They actually opened both arms as wide as they possibly could and ran for each other. When they got to each other, the mother picked up the child, embraced her, swung her around, and had nothing but joy in her face. The two of them then walked down the road, hand in hand, as I drove by. I was brought to tears, and I wasn't sure why.

I couldn't get my mind off of these two points today. I had a lot of incredible things happen to me today. Yet, I couldn't stop thinking about Brother Lawrence, his dead tree in winter, and that mother and little girl. Somehow, I knew that the quiet little whisper inside was trying to say something.

I've been looking at this "Happy Fast" as a time where I really have to focus on giving up frustration and anger. I've been working really hard to think about every decision I make, every choice I make, every action that I am responsible for. But somehow, I couldn't help today wondering if I had it all wrong.

You know, when Brother Lawrence got that great revelation from that simple picture of the dead tree in winter, he didn't start thinking about his downfalls. He didn't focus on the theological history of the church. He didn't start thinking about predestination, infant baptism, whether or not to be prolife or prochoice. He didn't take into consideration the most effective ways to communicate his ideas, the most effective practices to evangelize and disciple others. He merely knew that something about that tree had ignited a fire inside of him - a passion for a Creator, a love for someone who first loved him.

That little girl I saw today. She and her mom have undoubtedly had quarrels and spats. Today, though, they didn't take the time to stop and think about those differences. I can almost assure you that the mother didn't stop and think about the most relative way to reach her daughter in our technilogical era. I'm sure the daughter didn't stop and try to figure out why her mother would allow their dog to get hit by that same bus if and when it happened. No, none of that thought occurred. There was one simple reaction. How excited that mother and daughter were to see each other! How much love bubbled up inside of both of them from such an act of running towards each other and embracing!

I can't help but think how many of us are looking at life wrong. Instead of focusing on what I'm supposed to be fasting and the best practices for giving those things up in order to be more like Christ, maybe I should just start focusing on a God that is passionate about His love for me. Maybe I should start remembering how God rescued me from so much that I could never put into words. Maybe, instead of arguing and debating with Him or anyone else, I should just hike up my boots and run to Him, screaming and giggling all the way! Of course no one wants to get swept away with empty emotionalism. No one wants to fall into that trap of having that feel good time with no sense of depth or maturity. Yet, I can't help but thinking that no matter how much that mother loves her child, there will always be a sense of passion and excitement when she sees her. No matter how long that child loves her mother, she'll always be willing to look like a fool in front of the whole world, kick up her shoes, leave everything behind, and just run to her. Maybe I should do the same. Maybe I should just enjoy Him. On this happy fast, I want to find joy. Well, why don't I enJOY God? Why don't you do the same?