Suffering?

"Dear God, how could they hurt me?" "Dear God, how could they do this to me?" "Dear God, I am so ____(fill in the blank)___!" "Dear God, why won't you ___(fill in the blank)___?"

Ever had those thoughts? Nah, me either. Ha! Yeah right! Maybe the real answer should be, has anyone not had those thoughts? Suffering is a big part of life. Unfortunately, suffering happens: people hurt us, the devil steals things/people away from us, the economy goes bad, oil spills in the Gulf Coast, fingernails break, and someone steals your bike. These things happen! Don't they stink? Gosh, I hate when stuff happens to me. I hate being hurt and vulnerable. Yet, I seem to hold on to the suffering. I might beat myself up. I might stay mad at someone forever (and you haven't seen that until you know me and how long I can hold a grudge - it's ridiculous!).

I read about suffering this morning. It's in a part of scripture that I just can't seem to get away from - James 5:13-20. James 5:13 says, "Is anyone among you suffering, let him pray."

It is such a simple verse. Yet, upon doing a Greek word study of the verse, I saw things in a new light. The word suffering, akin to afflicted, means afflicted. Isn't that surprising? Haha! It actually hints at some sort of enemy or opponent. Then there is the word, pray. What is so interesting about this Greek word is that it is composed of a word just meaning to talk to God and another root word that is directional; and not just directional, but a directional meant for a change.

Why is that so important? What do you do when you are suffering? I usually sit in my pity party or squander in misery in a circle of questions and tears. That's not hte answer, though. The answer is to turn towards God, direct your suffering towards Him, releasing your hold on it, and looking for a change.

That's really small, but it helps me move on to the next part of the verse about being cheerful & singing! God cares for the small things - when you are suffering, talk to Him, give Him your suffering and expect things to change. That's what the verse is there for.

Unspoken

There I stood. I was at an event where hundreds of people were hearing the gospel, maybe for the first time. They had just seen some graphic events as a set up to let them see consequences of bad decisions. They were supposed to write a prayer request down on this post it note and stick it to the cross.

It was such a Christian thing to do. I've seen it done so many times. For some reason, I just thought I would read over these requests. They were so typical.

"Pray for my dad to be closer to us." "Pray for my mom to get a job." "Pray for my friends not to make dumb decisions." "Pray for me to get good grades." "Pray for my parents who are getting a divorce." "Pray for my brother who is in jail."

Why I chose to read over these "requests" was beyond me. And then I crossed over one particular sticky note. Simple handwriting. One word. A word scrabbled on a piece of paper.

Unspoken.

My heart broke. I couldn't hold back the tears. All of a sudden, something hit me. How many requests are there like this one? Unspoken. My brain flashed back to me being a little girl in a small Pentecostal Holiness church. We would tell everyone our prayer requests, but if you had one that you didn't want people to really know about, you would wait until the pastor asked for any "unspoken" requests. Then you would raise your hand, still remain safe, and move on. Why was it such a secret? I never knew.

Standing there in front of that one word, it became bigger and bigger. How many people do I pass every day that have unspoken requests? Are they too ashamed to say what it is? Are they too embarrassed? Or maybe it isn't even that. Maybe it's just that no one has even stopped to take the time for them to speak it out. Our world is hurting. That is so apparent. Our Christian family is hurting. We can't even take care of others because we are so unhealthy ourselves. Yet, we go on, move about our business, and keep going. We don't even stop to find out the "unspoken."

My heart broke that night for so many people who are hurting inside for themselves, for others, for circumstances, whatever. I can't say it I've made any life changes because of it. I do know this. I want to be more open to God's sweet voice telling me to stop, take a minute and listen, and find out what is behind the unspoken.

Sam

James 1:17

What are we doing?

The Church & A Frying Pan Moment

Tonight, I let things get the best of me. I found myself steaming and very uncomfortable with the church in general. I have discussions with God like "Why couldn't you have put me in a place where there is this amazing church that really has a heart for glorifying You and reaching Your people?" I'm usually just being dramatic and selfish. It is a process that I'm used to, which is kind of sad.

I must say, though, tonight, I was pretty ticked. It was different than before. It wasn't an anger just to be angry and to hate someone. I've been there before. It was kind of a frustration that, as a teacher, I've felt before. As a teacher, you have these students that really frustrate you for one reason: potential. You know that if they put their minds to it, if they would just stop focusing on acting out, if they just did this or that, you know that they could outshine anyone in the class. Yet, for some reason, they choose to ignore their potential. That's the kind of frustration I felt tonight. If the church would just open her eyes...If the church would just read their Bible...If the church would just get their mind off of...

I got so bothered, that I finally had to go into my room, and I was going to find a Bible verse to read about how stupid the church was in general. So I turned in my Bible to Isaiah 57. This chapter is the first of a couple of chapters that talks about how God's people aren't doing right, how the leaders are doing wrong, how they should have purer hearts. I kept reading, reminding myself piously of how I had the right idea and everyone else was wrong.

Until...

Until I came up on this verse. I read these words, and it was one of, what I call, the frying pan moments. I read these words and they jumped up at me. My pride soon turned to humility. My complaints soon stopped. My criticisms turned to tears as my heart broke for our Lord's body.

"He (God) saw that there was no man and wondered that there was no intercessor [no one to intervene on behalf of truth and right]" (Isaiah 59:16 AMP).

POW! Talk about backing up. I wonder how many times God has searched for someone to intervene on behalf of truth and right for His people? I wonder how many times He has found no one? Why, instead of complaining and feeling that frustration, do I not stand before God and ask grace for His people?

When I read those words, I felt God's peace flood my heart. I don't want to be one of the many that is ignoring God's search for an intercessor-in any area. Because of one of my passions, my mind immediately goes to orphans & widows. How many times has God not been able to find someone to intervene for them - I hate that! I want to change that.

I looked up the Hebrew background of "intercessor," and it comes from the word paga. This word means "to meet," "to encounter," "to join," and "to entreat." Literally, when we go before God on behalf of someone or something else, we are meeting God for those people/situations/things. We are encountering the complete grace of God in proxy of that person! How incredible is that! I also found it interesting that this word could also mean "to attack" and "to strike a boundary." Not only am I meeting with God for that person/situation/thing, I am attacking and setting a boundary against the enemy for that person. What power can lie in intercession!

No one else may find this as life-changing or as interesting as I do, but I could not help share what spoke to me on this night. What does it mean to you to intercede for someone?

Please Pray For Me

I know some people out in the world wide web, so I wanted to ask you something.

Something happened Sunday. I don't really know what it was. I woke up that morning, and it was like everything I had fought so hard to overcome, everything I had grappled with was overtaking me and pulling me down. Things just seemed to escalate until Sunday evening, I was literally laying on my couch, looking through the Bible, tears in my eyes, asking God to please give me some answer to the problem in me. I just felt like if I can't overcome anger, then I couldn't walk out this life with God. And if I couldn't walk with God, there really wasn't a whole lot of point in anything. I was ready to give up on my Happy Fast.

To be honest with anyone who's out there reading, I haven't truly found an answer. As a matter of fact, my church wanted to know if there was anyone in our small group that was dealing with anger that could maybe give a testimony. I was suggested. I turned it down. I felt like such a failure. How could I give anyone a testimony about dealing with anger? In order to have a testimony, I felt like you needed to come through something, and I haven't yet! Part of me thinks that it would almost be better to get up and there and share with people how hard I'm struggling with this thing. A lot of people are struggling with stuff! Not everyone is able to give a testimony about their lives! We're still in the middle of hardships. Maybe it would help someone to know that they weren't the only ones in the world who felt like such a failure. I know yesterday, I did.

Today, I don't feel like as much of a failure as I did yesterday, but to be honest, I am a bit discouraged. I know that I can't quit my happy fast because I know God wants to bring me through this thing. I know that it wouldn't be called a fast if it was easy. I know all these things, but I'm asking anyone out there to pray for me. I definitely need it.

The Bible says that the JOY of the LORD is our STRENGTH. Well, I feel like I don't have any joy to use as strength. I know I'm supposed to draw on the joy of the LORD, but what does that mean in practical, every day application?

If anyone has any great words of wisdom or encouragement, leave me a comment or shoot me an email.