Unspoken

There I stood. I was at an event where hundreds of people were hearing the gospel, maybe for the first time. They had just seen some graphic events as a set up to let them see consequences of bad decisions. They were supposed to write a prayer request down on this post it note and stick it to the cross.

It was such a Christian thing to do. I've seen it done so many times. For some reason, I just thought I would read over these requests. They were so typical.

"Pray for my dad to be closer to us." "Pray for my mom to get a job." "Pray for my friends not to make dumb decisions." "Pray for me to get good grades." "Pray for my parents who are getting a divorce." "Pray for my brother who is in jail."

Why I chose to read over these "requests" was beyond me. And then I crossed over one particular sticky note. Simple handwriting. One word. A word scrabbled on a piece of paper.

Unspoken.

My heart broke. I couldn't hold back the tears. All of a sudden, something hit me. How many requests are there like this one? Unspoken. My brain flashed back to me being a little girl in a small Pentecostal Holiness church. We would tell everyone our prayer requests, but if you had one that you didn't want people to really know about, you would wait until the pastor asked for any "unspoken" requests. Then you would raise your hand, still remain safe, and move on. Why was it such a secret? I never knew.

Standing there in front of that one word, it became bigger and bigger. How many people do I pass every day that have unspoken requests? Are they too ashamed to say what it is? Are they too embarrassed? Or maybe it isn't even that. Maybe it's just that no one has even stopped to take the time for them to speak it out. Our world is hurting. That is so apparent. Our Christian family is hurting. We can't even take care of others because we are so unhealthy ourselves. Yet, we go on, move about our business, and keep going. We don't even stop to find out the "unspoken."

My heart broke that night for so many people who are hurting inside for themselves, for others, for circumstances, whatever. I can't say it I've made any life changes because of it. I do know this. I want to be more open to God's sweet voice telling me to stop, take a minute and listen, and find out what is behind the unspoken.

Sam

Stumble

It's so funny how God talks to us in little moments, especially when those little moments come from little people: children. I had a random encounter with a two year old last night that looked at me and asked me if I would stumble with her. I've not heard many two years old say the word stumble, let alone ask if I wanted to stumble with them. Being the playful auntie that I am, I agreed.

It was this weird almost out of body experience thing that happened as I watched what came next. We both stumbled to the ground. She grabbed my hand, we "helped" each other up, and then she laughed and took off running again.

And then it hit me. So many times, we can feel like a failure. We try our hardest to walk out this life with Christ. We do all the Christian things, say all the right words, and still it isn't good enough. In one area of our life, we find ourselves stumbling. What do we do in that moment?

I personally like to throw an epic pity party. I like to try to convince God and others that I am a loser. Really, it's all very prideful. I want others to say I am good, so I pretend that I feel like I am bad. Sometimes we honestly do feel we aren't good enough.

The thing is, though, God is there all the time. He's there to help us up, and start running again. He's there the whole time. He doesn't cause us to stumble, but when we do stumble, He is right there with us. He knows that if we can just get back up and start running, we can be laughing again.

This truth rang home with me last night. It was one of those moments where I knew there was something more going on than what was actually happening. God was showing me that, even when I stumble, He's right there, waiting to help me up, and start running again.

Amazing..

I Know My Calculus

So, today, I am subbing for a smart people school! Haha! I am subbing for a High School program that meets on a college campus. The kids even take some college courses. Well, they asked me to come and sub for the AP Calculus and AP Statistics class. In other words, they needed a babysitter. And you know how I love to babysit.

I seriously feel like I'm in a different country. The language is fascinating. These kids know exactly what they are talking about, they know the thinking process, and so forth! My mind is blown! On one hand, it reminds me that as Christians we kind of have our world. We have our church friends. We have our "Text Book" (thank God it is written in a much more personal manner). We have our "Christianese." Yet, I wish we knew our world as much as these kids know their Calculus. I've really been looking at that lately. The way these students study for Calculus, is it more than how I study my God? Of course they are going to get a test, but my tests are much more imperative! How will I fair?

On the other hand, I feel like such an outsider. As a Christian, I don't want people to feel like that from me. I want the God of love to speak through my life. He is always relative. He is always the common language. He is always cross-cultural.

I didn't mean to blog about that, though. I was blogging because, like most people, I hate waiting. I have put in an application for the local University, and I am waiting to hear from them. The decision should be made by the end of next week, but I hate waiting. I'm ready to get in and start! Oh, that I would have patience.

Ending with a song from an old spoof boy band. "I Know My Calculus - it says You + Me = US!"

The Wisdom of Solomon

I can't believe Solomon! He is such a great example at this point in his life. I know he had the whole lust issue, but I don't know that I can top this. I'm reading 1 Kings 3:4-15 and God comes to Solomon in a dream and asks him to ask for anything. Anything! I can think of a few things that I would ask for - a new car to replace my 1995 Purple Subaru (Also known to me & my friends as Sugar Plum Scary), a new house with more bedrooms, so A & I can have our space when she needs personal space, a new wardrobe, money for orphanages, an opportunity to travel, oh my list could go on and on. And I am not unlike Solomon in some areas. We are both young. He tells God that he is young and stupid. See, we do have a lot in common. I notice a big difference between Solomon's request, though, and mine.

Solomon asks the Lord to give him wisdom and an understanding heart towards God's people. He wants to rule God's people with wisdom. What an unselfish request?!? I am so convicted by his request. Yet, I realize that his heart is that of a true leader - the gifts that he is given aren't for his own gain, but for the gain of the people he is leading: The whole point of being a leader. The bonus: God also gave him everything else that he could ever desire because of his unselfishness.

Oh, Lord, that you would give us an understanding heart towards Your people and the wisdom that you gave Solomon.

BE A MAN!

So, I am beginning to read through 1 Kings, and I found an awesome set of verses in the second chapter that I would like for every man to read on planet Earth. It has become my prayer for the men around me, my future husband, and my future children (assuming I will have at least one son).

Background Information:
David is dying. He has had yet another uprising from one of his sons trying to take over the throne. He is told that he must do something about it, so he goes to Solomon, his son (the rightful inheritor of the throne) and tells him that he must go ahead and take the throne. In doing so, he charges Solomon with a great charge. The charge is the part that I wish every man could see. In my words, I would say, STAND UP AND BE A REAL MAN! He says it much more eloquently. Read this and may it become your prayer for every man you know or hope to know.

"Be strong, therefore, and prove yourself a man. And keep the charge of the Lord your God: to walk in His ways, to keep His statutes, His commandments, His judgments, and His testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn." (1 Kings 2:2-4)

I love here how a father is charging his son with the charge of THE FATHER. Keep His commandments and you will prove yourself to be a man and prosper in all that you do. So boys, strap up your boots, be a man, and follow God's ways - it's the only way you will prosper.