HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Okay, so tonight I brought in the new year with some of my closest friends and communion.

Here's how I threw a great party:

1) Great Christmas Music


2) Clean the House


3) Set up Bathroom Kits for Guests




4) Encouraging Notes for Guests (and myself!)





5) Tablescapes


6) Decorations (KEEP IT SIMPLE)


7) Food (KEEP IT SIMPLE)


8) Great Friends






9) Reflection/Thought on the New Year



10) Bringing in the New Year with Communion (THE RIGHT WAY!)



It was a great night....more pictures/posts to come from this night..

New Year Plans?

Well, it's that time again. At the end of every year, I think about a couple of things.

1. My parent's anniversary. I was born before they were married, so I kind of give credit to myself for getting them together (ha!). They were married on December 30th, so I will be wishing them 23 looong years and many more to come!

2. New Year's Eve plans. This year I am getting together with my closest friends to celebrate. We are just going to hang out and spend some quality time together. I hope that we can talk about what the new year will hold in place and goals and such. That is my hope. Along with a lot of laughter.

3. Old Year Reflections - where was I this time last year. Have I gone backwards, forwards, still in the same place? Did I reach my goals? Did my predictions come true. This year I can say I think I've moved backwards in many areas of my life, especially my relationship with God. I didn't reach my goals. I don't know that I ever do. None of my predictions came true. They involved babies, love, and something bad happening (none of which involved me). None of them came true.

4. Old Year Pictures. I usually like to review the year through pictures. I am currently in the process of putting all my 2010 pictures on a jump drive to display on a digital frame through the new year. Can be a fun and a not so fun experience, but the memories are really good.

5. New Year Goals. This is what I want to accomplish in the new year. These are my "resolutions" so to speak. I am still formulating mine for 2011.

6. New Year Predictions. I don't usually predict for myself. My predictions will probably be very similar to what they were last year. I just think they have more of a chance of happening this year.


What about you? Do you do anything with the old year? What are your plans for bringing in the new? Any resolutions? I want to hear them!

Hoarders & Intervention

So, I've been watching a couple of shows lately that seem to stick out to me. They've either been about hoarders or addictions and they always end up in intervention. I was watching this one show and watched this man and woman living in the woman's hoarding chaos. I looked at the man and with my kindest intention thought, "Ugh! Who in their right mind would live with that? LEAVE BROTHER!" The intervention shows talk about this. They talk about enablers, people who may not add to the addiction of people, but in the name of "helping" them, enable them to be addicted. Of course, I judged them, too (being the good Christian person that I am - haha).

I watched the intervention and it just kind of blew me away. Not being an ex-druggy, I've never experienced anything like that. The people get together when someone is pretty much at rock bottom, tell them how they've been affected, and then present the person with options. And it kind of hit me.

1. Why do we wait until people hit rock bottom to have an intervention?
2. Why do we only do intervention for drugs/alcohol? Why not do intervention for a different kind of hoarding - unforgiveness - or people who are harboring anger. I don't know, just a thought.
3. What am I enabling? in other people? in myself? What piles of junk am I just looking over, passing up, etc? Why don't I just look at myself and say, "MOVE OUT, SISTER!"
4. What hoarders are we judging? Everyone has a little bit of a hoarder/addict in them. Just different things.
5. Does intervention really help? It requires someone to care about people. Is it effective?


Just some thoughts. Would love to hear yours!

Week Off

So, I have the week off. The only thing I have to do for work is check email today and tomorrow (for payment deadline purposes - it's a long story). Today is Monday. There are a couple of things running through my head.

1) Holy Cow - I didn't get anything accomplished today. I did straighten up pillows in the living room, empty and fill the dishwasher in the kitchen, sweep the middle of every floor in the house to appear that I cleaned, pay a bill, drove to our Chick-Fil-A for my Fix, and cleaned out my purse. Sure that sounds like a lot, but compare it to the number of hours in the day and the amount that my roomie who had the day off got done, and you'll see - I got nothing accomplished today.

2) I have a whole list of TO DO! My to do lists get pretty ridiculous, actually. I don't know if you could accomplish them in a year. Yet, there are some items that are doable and I want to finish them. They bounce around in my head like a game of Pong. This list is the reason for feeling #1.

3) Why do I have to do the to do list? Don't I deserve some time off? This is like a sick cycle I put myself through. I have a lot to do, I need to do it, I don't do it because I feel obligated to give myself time to not do it, and then I feel guilty for not doing it. It's a sick cycle. I know.

Does anyone else face this cycle? What do you do with the battle of lazy time and productivity that should occur? And don't tell me to take me time - I take plenty of me time - hence the reason my to do list is so long. I don't do it! HA!

Any thoughts?

Snow!

Yes, Virginia, there is a weather man! We had snow in Myrtle Beach! I know - it's hard to believe. I feel like the Meiser brothers made some wicked deal to help Santa get his little Vixen back or something. If you have no clue what I'm talking about, watch Year Without A Santa Claus. I actually went out and played in the snow today. Super fun! It was a White Christmas after all.

And yes, we didn't go to church today? Why? Because in the South - we can't drive. Second of all, we can't drive in precipitation, especially not snow. So I stayed home all day. It was wonderful! Look at some of the pictures:

Experience

"He told me that it had all happened one winter day, as he was looking at a barren tree. Although the tree's leaves were indeed gone, he knew that they would soon reappear, followed by blossomsm and then fruit. This gave hima profound impression of God's providence and power, which never left him. [He] still maintains that this impression detached him entirely from the world and gave him such a great love for God that it hasn't changed in all of the forty years he has been walking with Him."
(Practicing the Presence of God pg. 11)

"And then at night, Jesus Christ Himself came. He came to me and that was real. That was not a dream. That was not a vision. It was real. It was after midnight. I was alone in that room - in the hospital. The whole room was glittered in light. There was - There was Jesus Christ, and He was real. He was there. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, Jesus. He was there. Jesus was there. He was real, and He talked to me. He said, "Yes, I am the one to give you a new life. Glory to You Jesus. He said to me, yes, I am the one to give you a new life."
(Former Ethiopian Prime Minister Tamrat Layne)

"And as he journeyed he came near Damascus, and suddenly a light shone around him from heaven. Then he fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him, "Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?"...."Then Saul arose from the ground and when his eyes were opened he saw no one."
(Acts 9:3-8)


"And when I saw Him, I fell at His feet as dead."
(Revelation 1:17)

Tonight I'm just thinking about my whole experience with Jesus. I have come across these experiences with Him in the past couple of days. These people were completely changed after their encounters with the Son of God. My first encounter with God was a young child in the back of a car looking out the window with tears rolling down my cheeks trying to figure out how a God that could make such beautiful stars could die for a child as bad as I was. Later, I encountered Him again at a worship night in a youth group. I heard Him speak that night. I would again encounter Him in my bedroom after I told the people I lived with that I was moving out to walk away from God and run after the world as hard as I could.

Every experience I have had with Jesus has been life changing. As I look at this life and the journey I have been on, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Of course it hasn't been easy. Of course I have fallen. Who hasn't? But every time, there is Jesus with His hands wide open, catching me and holding me up.

Oh, friend, if you are reading this, I pray you know the same Christ that so many have experienced. I pray that He changes your life and fills you with the same love and acceptance that He has offered so many. And just like with the Prime Minister, Jesus is waiting to give you a new life. I hope you will live it.

Holding On

Was in prayer tonight, just kind of talking to Jesus about my incessant drawing towards the world and away from Him. The song that was playing mentioned something about "teach me how to cling to You?" That rolled around in my head over and over again. Teach me how to cling to You. And I started thinking about a story I once heard.

There was a guy named Jacob. He was one of the best deceivers I've ever heard about (besides myself when I am not walking with Jesus..haha). Well, he deceived his brother out of his very own birthright. This, of course, means nothing to us as today our words and vows and birthrights are of no value. Back then, though, they were a huge deal. Well, needless to say, the brother was pretty ticked. Well Jacob was on his way back to the land of his brother, 2 wives, eleven sons, and deceitful repayments later. He just knew his brother was ticked. I honestly think, he kind of knew who he was. He knew everything he had done. He knew what was going down. He just knew that things weren't good.

Well, he comes to this place and somehow ends up alone. I love the Bible's wording; it just says, "Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day." Jacob was wrestling throughout the night. Whether it was Jesus or God or an angel, I don't care - stronger than me. I can almost see Jacob saying, I don't care - I'm not letting go until you tell me everything is going to be okay. It took strength and power. And tonight, I thought about it, that Man wasn't running or pushing away. He was engaging in that wrestling match.

And something hit me. You know, lately, I've been talking about my constant drawing to the world. Tonight I was praying for a drawing to the Lord. And it was like this new fight just rose up within me. It was like I took the Spirit of God and put Him in a headlock (as reverently and fearful as possible of course) and said, I'm not going to let You go until my life is so evidently changed that there is a physical difference in my everyday life. And it's almost like I could hear Jesus laughing because I don't have to wrestle to get that. He wants to be a part of life and passion with me even more than I want it! He is holding me anyway. He isn't running and trying to hide for me to find. He's just there, waiting for me to realize it.

This fight is a good thing. I guess that's an important part. If I can just get the fight inside of me to have a desire to only want Christ and nothing else, the other stuff will happen. Like the theme verse of my life right now. "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto You." (Matt 6:33)

So, what do you need to wrestle with God about? Know this - he isn't running away. He wants to engage with you in life more than you want it. Tell me some things that you wrestle with and what it means to wrestle with God in those situations.

The Happy Fast (Again)

"Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto You." (Matthew 6:33)

I have a very bad habit. I will drive down the road and consistently look at the same exact signs, the same exact advertisements, the same words every time I drive by. It's like my eyes are drawn by a magnet to these things. I read them over and over and over again. What probably makes it even more annoying to those around me is that I will then make it my point to read the words every time I see them.

I have realized that I have that bad habit in more than just the area of signs and words. It's true in life. For the past 10 years of walking with (and running away from) God, I have revisited the same issues over and over and over and over again. What makes that even more annoying is that I consistently hurt the same people in the process.

Lately, I've just been thinking about my walk with God and this bad cycle I have of spiritual highs and lows. I have come to realize that part of the reason I consistently look away from the One who is set before me is that I like the other stuff I am looking at it. I am drawn to it. There is some magnetic force that is pulling my eyes away from the path before me. The bad thing about that is that it usually ends up in a crash, and people get hurt.

I've been looking at my Christian life and realizing that I have enjoyed the world and its ways. Yet, in my mind, I know that "friendship with the world is enmity with God" (somewhere in the Bible). I also know that this friendship with the world is the cause of those spiritual highs and lows. I am trying to find fulfillment in something that is empty and void itself. I am seeking happiness in somewhere else besides "the Kingdom of God and His righteousness."

So, I find myself in a new take on my what seems like "Happy Fast." Hence, the new desire to start writing again. I'm looking in all the wrong places to keep me happy. Really, I should just be looking to Jesus and falling in love with Him. So, here's to a brand new start and a journey before me that I don't think even I know where it will take me.

Suffering?

"Dear God, how could they hurt me?" "Dear God, how could they do this to me?" "Dear God, I am so ____(fill in the blank)___!" "Dear God, why won't you ___(fill in the blank)___?"

Ever had those thoughts? Nah, me either. Ha! Yeah right! Maybe the real answer should be, has anyone not had those thoughts? Suffering is a big part of life. Unfortunately, suffering happens: people hurt us, the devil steals things/people away from us, the economy goes bad, oil spills in the Gulf Coast, fingernails break, and someone steals your bike. These things happen! Don't they stink? Gosh, I hate when stuff happens to me. I hate being hurt and vulnerable. Yet, I seem to hold on to the suffering. I might beat myself up. I might stay mad at someone forever (and you haven't seen that until you know me and how long I can hold a grudge - it's ridiculous!).

I read about suffering this morning. It's in a part of scripture that I just can't seem to get away from - James 5:13-20. James 5:13 says, "Is anyone among you suffering, let him pray."

It is such a simple verse. Yet, upon doing a Greek word study of the verse, I saw things in a new light. The word suffering, akin to afflicted, means afflicted. Isn't that surprising? Haha! It actually hints at some sort of enemy or opponent. Then there is the word, pray. What is so interesting about this Greek word is that it is composed of a word just meaning to talk to God and another root word that is directional; and not just directional, but a directional meant for a change.

Why is that so important? What do you do when you are suffering? I usually sit in my pity party or squander in misery in a circle of questions and tears. That's not hte answer, though. The answer is to turn towards God, direct your suffering towards Him, releasing your hold on it, and looking for a change.

That's really small, but it helps me move on to the next part of the verse about being cheerful & singing! God cares for the small things - when you are suffering, talk to Him, give Him your suffering and expect things to change. That's what the verse is there for.

Interesting Commercials

I saw both of these videos recently. I thought they were worth posting. The first one is hilarious! The second one just really makes you think, especially if you are a woman. Take a look and let me know what you think.






I told you it would make you think.

He Knows Me

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you" (Jeremiah 1:5a NKJV).

Have you ever met a celebrity? I'm not talking about a local weather man (although in the town I live in, the local weather man's social standing is equal to that of any celebrity you may see on People Magazine or interviewing on Oprah) or a local small-town athlete. I am talking about a real celebrity. You know, someone whose in multiple movies, who owns a multi-million dollar home, and who gets into and miraculously gets out of scandalous occurrences only enjoyable to the rich and famous! Have you ever met one? No, I haven't either.

The closest I ever got was in Walt Disney World. I saw a man coming out of the Crystal Palace restaurant who looked rather familiar. I soon recognized him to be Brad Garrett. You know, the big kind of dead-pan guy from "Everybody Loves Raymond." Well, to be honest, I was too scared to go talk to him. Now, he isn't like my favorite celebrity or anything. He's just someone that I know has been in movies. My best friend's mom finally decided to speak up, and so we met him and shared a few jokes. So, Brad Garrett met Samantha. Amazing, right? Wrong. At no time after our meeting did he ever go around and say, "Hey, I know Samantha." Yeah, I can say that I met him, but can I say that we know each other? No, I really can't.

I am obviously no celebrity. I have never been in any movie besides the ones made at home, I don't even own a $2 home, and my idea of a scandal is getting caught driving with my knees instead of my hands. I do know Someone who is "kind of a big deal," though. You know the amazing thing. He would say that He knows me, too. Want to be even more amazed? He knew me before we even met? Isn't it funny that although I can meet a semi-celebrity, I wouldn't say that I knew him, yet, God knew and knows me even before we met?

God formed me. Those three words blow my mind. They render me speechless. What makes it even better is that God formed me and knew me. He knew before I was even born all my little quirks and faults and oddities. Yet, He still formed me. That is the basis of all that my life is. I am just a woman who is walking this life out with the realization that God formed me for a purpose and that I get to live that purpose out, knowing Him. I pray that my journey thus far can point you into the place where you know God. Like I said before, "He's kind of a big deal."

Sam

AAHH!

For today to be my day off, I wasn't off. I slept in a little late (8:05am to be exact). I woke up and my day and my mind began running. I must say I got a lot done today. I kind of felt like this day is a whir.

Unfortunately, I did base the value of my day on how much I checked off my to do list. I do that a lot. You can pray for me in that area. Although I did A WHOLE LOT OF STUFF (including making Pasta Salad for a party tomorrow night, laundry, cleaning the house, organizing my checkbook, paying some bills, contacting parents for our middle school group, addressing and sending off letters raising money for a prolife campaign, etc.), I still feel like I failed because I can think of at least one thing I didn't do today. Isn't that crazy?!?

Why is it that we are such a task-oriented society? Why is it that if I'm not super lazy, I'm super task-oriented? Why can't I just accept that what I get done is good enough for the day, as long as that time was spent doing God's agenda for my day?!?

That's the key - God's agenda needs to be my agenda. Lord, help us line up our lives with Your agenda.

Sam

143,000,000

Have you ever tried to go to sleep and couldn't? Then you realized that it wasn't just because you had enough sleep. It seemed there was some purpose for you being awake. That happened to me last night. I was laying in my bed, and my thoughts and my heart were just turned onto one focus: orphans. Did you know there are 143,000,000 documented orphans in the world right now? Did you know that every 18 seconds a child becomes an orphan? Do you not see how sad that is? I saw this video and it made me realize just how many orphans are in the world. Take that and put it up against James 1:27. What are we doing? God, what is my place in this? How do I handle the 143,000,000? Here is a video to give you more perspective. It opened my eyes.

Unspoken

There I stood. I was at an event where hundreds of people were hearing the gospel, maybe for the first time. They had just seen some graphic events as a set up to let them see consequences of bad decisions. They were supposed to write a prayer request down on this post it note and stick it to the cross.

It was such a Christian thing to do. I've seen it done so many times. For some reason, I just thought I would read over these requests. They were so typical.

"Pray for my dad to be closer to us." "Pray for my mom to get a job." "Pray for my friends not to make dumb decisions." "Pray for me to get good grades." "Pray for my parents who are getting a divorce." "Pray for my brother who is in jail."

Why I chose to read over these "requests" was beyond me. And then I crossed over one particular sticky note. Simple handwriting. One word. A word scrabbled on a piece of paper.

Unspoken.

My heart broke. I couldn't hold back the tears. All of a sudden, something hit me. How many requests are there like this one? Unspoken. My brain flashed back to me being a little girl in a small Pentecostal Holiness church. We would tell everyone our prayer requests, but if you had one that you didn't want people to really know about, you would wait until the pastor asked for any "unspoken" requests. Then you would raise your hand, still remain safe, and move on. Why was it such a secret? I never knew.

Standing there in front of that one word, it became bigger and bigger. How many people do I pass every day that have unspoken requests? Are they too ashamed to say what it is? Are they too embarrassed? Or maybe it isn't even that. Maybe it's just that no one has even stopped to take the time for them to speak it out. Our world is hurting. That is so apparent. Our Christian family is hurting. We can't even take care of others because we are so unhealthy ourselves. Yet, we go on, move about our business, and keep going. We don't even stop to find out the "unspoken."

My heart broke that night for so many people who are hurting inside for themselves, for others, for circumstances, whatever. I can't say it I've made any life changes because of it. I do know this. I want to be more open to God's sweet voice telling me to stop, take a minute and listen, and find out what is behind the unspoken.

Sam

Stumble

It's so funny how God talks to us in little moments, especially when those little moments come from little people: children. I had a random encounter with a two year old last night that looked at me and asked me if I would stumble with her. I've not heard many two years old say the word stumble, let alone ask if I wanted to stumble with them. Being the playful auntie that I am, I agreed.

It was this weird almost out of body experience thing that happened as I watched what came next. We both stumbled to the ground. She grabbed my hand, we "helped" each other up, and then she laughed and took off running again.

And then it hit me. So many times, we can feel like a failure. We try our hardest to walk out this life with Christ. We do all the Christian things, say all the right words, and still it isn't good enough. In one area of our life, we find ourselves stumbling. What do we do in that moment?

I personally like to throw an epic pity party. I like to try to convince God and others that I am a loser. Really, it's all very prideful. I want others to say I am good, so I pretend that I feel like I am bad. Sometimes we honestly do feel we aren't good enough.

The thing is, though, God is there all the time. He's there to help us up, and start running again. He's there the whole time. He doesn't cause us to stumble, but when we do stumble, He is right there with us. He knows that if we can just get back up and start running, we can be laughing again.

This truth rang home with me last night. It was one of those moments where I knew there was something more going on than what was actually happening. God was showing me that, even when I stumble, He's right there, waiting to help me up, and start running again.

Amazing..

I Know My Calculus

So, today, I am subbing for a smart people school! Haha! I am subbing for a High School program that meets on a college campus. The kids even take some college courses. Well, they asked me to come and sub for the AP Calculus and AP Statistics class. In other words, they needed a babysitter. And you know how I love to babysit.

I seriously feel like I'm in a different country. The language is fascinating. These kids know exactly what they are talking about, they know the thinking process, and so forth! My mind is blown! On one hand, it reminds me that as Christians we kind of have our world. We have our church friends. We have our "Text Book" (thank God it is written in a much more personal manner). We have our "Christianese." Yet, I wish we knew our world as much as these kids know their Calculus. I've really been looking at that lately. The way these students study for Calculus, is it more than how I study my God? Of course they are going to get a test, but my tests are much more imperative! How will I fair?

On the other hand, I feel like such an outsider. As a Christian, I don't want people to feel like that from me. I want the God of love to speak through my life. He is always relative. He is always the common language. He is always cross-cultural.

I didn't mean to blog about that, though. I was blogging because, like most people, I hate waiting. I have put in an application for the local University, and I am waiting to hear from them. The decision should be made by the end of next week, but I hate waiting. I'm ready to get in and start! Oh, that I would have patience.

Ending with a song from an old spoof boy band. "I Know My Calculus - it says You + Me = US!"

The Wisdom of Solomon

I can't believe Solomon! He is such a great example at this point in his life. I know he had the whole lust issue, but I don't know that I can top this. I'm reading 1 Kings 3:4-15 and God comes to Solomon in a dream and asks him to ask for anything. Anything! I can think of a few things that I would ask for - a new car to replace my 1995 Purple Subaru (Also known to me & my friends as Sugar Plum Scary), a new house with more bedrooms, so A & I can have our space when she needs personal space, a new wardrobe, money for orphanages, an opportunity to travel, oh my list could go on and on. And I am not unlike Solomon in some areas. We are both young. He tells God that he is young and stupid. See, we do have a lot in common. I notice a big difference between Solomon's request, though, and mine.

Solomon asks the Lord to give him wisdom and an understanding heart towards God's people. He wants to rule God's people with wisdom. What an unselfish request?!? I am so convicted by his request. Yet, I realize that his heart is that of a true leader - the gifts that he is given aren't for his own gain, but for the gain of the people he is leading: The whole point of being a leader. The bonus: God also gave him everything else that he could ever desire because of his unselfishness.

Oh, Lord, that you would give us an understanding heart towards Your people and the wisdom that you gave Solomon.

BE A MAN!

So, I am beginning to read through 1 Kings, and I found an awesome set of verses in the second chapter that I would like for every man to read on planet Earth. It has become my prayer for the men around me, my future husband, and my future children (assuming I will have at least one son).

Background Information:
David is dying. He has had yet another uprising from one of his sons trying to take over the throne. He is told that he must do something about it, so he goes to Solomon, his son (the rightful inheritor of the throne) and tells him that he must go ahead and take the throne. In doing so, he charges Solomon with a great charge. The charge is the part that I wish every man could see. In my words, I would say, STAND UP AND BE A REAL MAN! He says it much more eloquently. Read this and may it become your prayer for every man you know or hope to know.

"Be strong, therefore, and prove yourself a man. And keep the charge of the Lord your God: to walk in His ways, to keep His statutes, His commandments, His judgments, and His testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn." (1 Kings 2:2-4)

I love here how a father is charging his son with the charge of THE FATHER. Keep His commandments and you will prove yourself to be a man and prosper in all that you do. So boys, strap up your boots, be a man, and follow God's ways - it's the only way you will prosper.

Detour

A Whole New World. I should be singing that song. God has really blown my mind in the past couple of weeks. You see, I graduated from college in December. I planned NOT to teach. I planned to sub until something more appealing came available. Boy, how He messes up our plans. I started teaching at a homeschool co-op organization that meets once a week. I was planning, grading, and doing all the other teacher stuff! I decided that I would do that along with subbing and just keep doing that right on.

Then one night I got a call from the principal of the school I did my internship in with a desperate plea to sub for a teacher who lost her daughter right before Christmas. It was a 3 week job, and I would have to figure out something for the co-op. I prayed about it, and it only felt right.

As I am subbing in this first grade class, I feel overwhelmed. I feel like I am in a whole new world! Surprisingly, though, it is sooo much fun! I can't believe it! Despite the body juices, tying shoes, crying, and holding hands, we are having a good time! I have learned to be firm and gentle at the same time. It is so amazing!

I do not know what lies ahead for me. I am almost scared to make plans if God is just going to change them! I should trust Him, though. He has never led me astray, and I know He never will.

Explain to Me...

I've had this thought in my head for a couple of days. Do I want God's power in my life at the cost of my unholiness?

I've been thinking about the power of God lately. You know, if you read the Bible, God's power is displayed in numerous great events. People were healed of awful diseases, dead people were brought back to life, demons were forced to leave the bodies they made homes from, and so on. God's power left people whole and at peace. What happened? Why did it stop? Why am I not seeing this kind of stuff around me today? I really feel like we don't want God's true power because if His true power enveloped us, we would have to give up our unholiness. I don't know how many of us truly want that.

I struggle with that. Yet, there is this thirst inside of me for something more than this cute little Christian life I'm living. I want Christ's love shared with those around me. I want them to see a difference by the power of God in my life. I don't want to settle for being sick, seeing people's lives ruined by Satan, and so on. I want His name to be magnified through His own works on our earth.

What does that mean today? Why don't we see that today? What are your thoughts? Are you willing to lose your unholiness to gain His power? That's an excellent question.

This is Big!

So, one of our middle school students said something amazing today:

"Do you ever stop and think about this: we are alive. This is big."

If only we held that in our hearts forever. We are alive. This is big. God has great things for us. Let's live like it.

Thanks, L, for that great moment this morning.

James 1:17

What are we doing?

The Church & A Frying Pan Moment

Tonight, I let things get the best of me. I found myself steaming and very uncomfortable with the church in general. I have discussions with God like "Why couldn't you have put me in a place where there is this amazing church that really has a heart for glorifying You and reaching Your people?" I'm usually just being dramatic and selfish. It is a process that I'm used to, which is kind of sad.

I must say, though, tonight, I was pretty ticked. It was different than before. It wasn't an anger just to be angry and to hate someone. I've been there before. It was kind of a frustration that, as a teacher, I've felt before. As a teacher, you have these students that really frustrate you for one reason: potential. You know that if they put their minds to it, if they would just stop focusing on acting out, if they just did this or that, you know that they could outshine anyone in the class. Yet, for some reason, they choose to ignore their potential. That's the kind of frustration I felt tonight. If the church would just open her eyes...If the church would just read their Bible...If the church would just get their mind off of...

I got so bothered, that I finally had to go into my room, and I was going to find a Bible verse to read about how stupid the church was in general. So I turned in my Bible to Isaiah 57. This chapter is the first of a couple of chapters that talks about how God's people aren't doing right, how the leaders are doing wrong, how they should have purer hearts. I kept reading, reminding myself piously of how I had the right idea and everyone else was wrong.

Until...

Until I came up on this verse. I read these words, and it was one of, what I call, the frying pan moments. I read these words and they jumped up at me. My pride soon turned to humility. My complaints soon stopped. My criticisms turned to tears as my heart broke for our Lord's body.

"He (God) saw that there was no man and wondered that there was no intercessor [no one to intervene on behalf of truth and right]" (Isaiah 59:16 AMP).

POW! Talk about backing up. I wonder how many times God has searched for someone to intervene on behalf of truth and right for His people? I wonder how many times He has found no one? Why, instead of complaining and feeling that frustration, do I not stand before God and ask grace for His people?

When I read those words, I felt God's peace flood my heart. I don't want to be one of the many that is ignoring God's search for an intercessor-in any area. Because of one of my passions, my mind immediately goes to orphans & widows. How many times has God not been able to find someone to intervene for them - I hate that! I want to change that.

I looked up the Hebrew background of "intercessor," and it comes from the word paga. This word means "to meet," "to encounter," "to join," and "to entreat." Literally, when we go before God on behalf of someone or something else, we are meeting God for those people/situations/things. We are encountering the complete grace of God in proxy of that person! How incredible is that! I also found it interesting that this word could also mean "to attack" and "to strike a boundary." Not only am I meeting with God for that person/situation/thing, I am attacking and setting a boundary against the enemy for that person. What power can lie in intercession!

No one else may find this as life-changing or as interesting as I do, but I could not help share what spoke to me on this night. What does it mean to you to intercede for someone?

My Day In Images

Well, today, I started my first day teaching at a local co-op for home school students. I am the resident Geography, Government, Physical Science, Anatomy, and General Science teacher. I was a little nervous, but things turned out well. I have a great group of kids. Granted, I only have them once a week, but they are great for me. After school, I ran a few errands and then came home. You can see some pictures from my ride home.












I did a lot of cleaning and organizing. You know my constant battle with organization. I organized some school supplies that I have gathered in the past couple of months.




What do you think? Do I have a weakness or what?

Praying for Haiti

So something just kind of hit me. I was looking at my entry from earlier today. I can't believe I could be so selfish. Here I am complaining about my life. And my heart turns to Haiti. I can't help but think of the hurt and the need there. Turning my focus off of me, I could be praying for them. They need God's attention and Christ's love more than anything right now. Oh, how my heart is praying for them. Please help them - be an extension of Christ's love. Go to World Vision or Compassion to send some help.

I'm still praying for the people of Haiti. Here are some encouraging words from "Beauty Will Rise," a song by Steven Curtis Chapman. They bring me comfort in my tears and prayers.

"Out of these ashes... beauty will rise
and we will dance among the ruins
We will see Him with our own eyes
Out of these ashes... beauty will rise
For we know, joy is coming in the morning...
in the morning... "

Organizing Life

About every 3 months, if you go into my room, you can find me in a position which I normally find myself at the same time every 3 months. I am sitting by my bed, with papers strung out all over the floor. My purse is usually emptied (and if you know how big my purse is, you know what a great thing that is), my receipts are all on the floor, my computer is open, and I'm squandering, probably doing something as small as cleaning the screen on my cell phone.

You see, I by nature am a very extreme person. I mean by that that if I am not extremely organized, I am extremely messy. If I am not extremely happy, I can be extremely sad. My whole life is this pursuit of balance in different areas- organization being one of them.

Well, today, I sat down, yet again, organizing my life. Only this time, it got in a mess in about a month. Ever since I graduated college, I feel like my brain has oozed out and my organization skills have gone out the window! My house is messy, I have piles in my room, and I just can't seem to get a routine to be productive. I seem so lazy these days!

Anyway, I am organized once again. I like it that way. I just need to figure out a way to keep it that way. Suggestions are well accepted. I'm so glad that God does not get as frustrated with our lives as I do my own. He sees them - just as messy and unorganized as they are, and yet, He still takes them on, cleans them right up and sets us on our way. No matter how many times we disorganize, He's always there, to sit in the middle of everything, and organize. I love it!

Here's to organization and my constant pursuit of its happiness!