The Happy Fast

This past year my brother turned 31. For his birthday celebration, he wanted to play a few rounds of laser tag. The family and a couple of his friends went to the local arcade place and did just that. Afterwards, we all went back to his house to have cake and take part in other typical birthday celebratory activities (singing, presents, and giving him cards that he throws away the moment everyone walks out the door). During our visit, he pulled out the game Imagine If to play around with the cards. It started out as a joke, but we all got into the game. If you don’t know the game, you basically make comparisons between a person in the room and an object out of a set of objects on the card. Well, my brother chose me, and here was my turn.
“If Samantha were a water craft, what would she be?”
· Dingy
· Submarine
· Destroyer
· Speed Boat

I was hoping to hear some deep insights on what the people who know me the best knew about me. I was quite taken aback when almost unanimously, the majority cried out, “Destroyer!” I laughed about it, knowing that there was truth in their thoughts, but hoping that somehow they were wrong.
Here’s the thing, though. They were right. I realized that night that I was a destroyer. I am one of the most negative people you will ever find. I am also one of the angriest people you will ever meet. I bottle things up worse than any person I know. I can also be very curt, mean, and nasty with you. I can hold grudges longer than anyone I know. I know exactly how to aim my missiles and shoot right in the spot where the person I’m aiming for will be hit the hardest. Knowing yourself sometimes means looking at truth, and I’ve had to do that in the past year. I am really getting to know myself (and every day I see even more the grace of God for having me where He does). Some days that is a good thing. Most days I end up depressed, frustrated, and discouraged that I will never be the person God wants me to be.
However, my mom and sister recently joked about the Lent season. I had made a comment about giving something up for Lent (a little late, but still a possibility). My sister and mom made the suggestion that for thirty days, I choose to give up anger and pledge to be happy. I laughed, shrugged it off, and got angry about them even suggesting that. Today, though, I couldn’t help but roll around the idea over and over again.
I heard the little whisper. Sometimes when God talks to you, you just wish He said something besides what He’s saying. I heard Him speak to me.
“Why not?”
So, here I am. I’m giving up anger and frustration and sadness until Easter. I’m calling it my Happy Fast. It sounds like I’m giving up happiness from the sound of the title of my own fast, but it’s actually a play on words. I’ve asked all of my family and friends to keep me accountable. Whenever I get out of line, say something mean, be rude or inconsiderate, or get angry, my family and friends can look at me and say, “You better get happy, fast.”
So, today births the Happy Fast. This will be one of the hardest times in my life I believe. I have never dealt with life without getting angry. I have never looked at the cup as halfway full. I know now that I will have many opportunities to put my pledge to action. To be honest with you, I can’t do it. I’m trusting, though, that there is a God in Heaven who has sufficient grace to get me through something that I believe He has called me to do for this moment.
I hope through this journey to keep updates on my Happy Fast. I hope that something I write can inspire or encourage anyone who’s out there looking for life to be a little less miserable and looking to get happy, fast.

Samantha