I'm On a Journey

Well, tonight (or more like this morning since because of Daylight Saving’s Time it is really 1:45 am), I face probably one of the largest struggles of my fast. This is in the area of church. Aah, that subject which everyone likes to talk about but no one wants to fix. Instead, we always just decide to split up into a different group and start another church that begins the cycle again. The state of the local church today is indeed a sad one, but I would rather not trash her in such a public domain. She does have her downfalls, but Christ loves the local church. This I must remember.
Let me say this, first and foremost, I know that I’m in the church that God wants me in right now. There is no doubt about that. My church may have its idiosyncrasies, but what church doesn’t? Yet, here’s where my frustration lies. The church isn’t my idea of what a church should be. Yet, there isn’t any body of followers that I know of that is anywhere near my idea of what a church should be. The closest ones that I’ve thought about are in Charleston, SC and Simi Valley, CA. Big distance issues there. Yet, I know that God would not leave me in a place without a local body to call my own, and He hasn’t. He’s got me in a place right now where every Sunday morning I sit back and press the spacebar on the computer so the congregation can sing to the songs that are sung in a key that only the skilled opera singer can match. Then I go to a different building and help with the middle school group, a group I have long protested and at which I have sneered. I believe God finds some kind of sick humor in all this (haha!).
I could pick out many faults with this church, as well as the rest here where I live. I’m really good at picking out faults- in people, in organizations, in ideas, etc. I’m not so good at coming up with the solutions, though. With this situation, I fear the solution. The solution to my problem is where my frustration lies. I do not want to settle here. I do not want to take off my gloves, get down, and get dirty here. It doesn’t really have anything to do with the church in and of itself. It has to do with this ideal life I picture myself having- this calling that I believe God has put inside of me. If I know that in life God doesn’t want me to be working with middle school students or pushing the space bar every Sunday morning of my life, then why am I doing it now? This is where my frustration point reaches its max.
David was anointed to be the next King of Israel when he was somewhat a younger guy. However, for a long time, he was still just a shepherd. Then, he was running for his life, being betrayed by people, etc. One day, he did eventually become a King, but there was a journey that he traveled to get there. This journey was supposed to help him build some character, some experience, some knowledge that he needed to help run a Kingdom. This is the thing that I need to remember. I’m on a journey, and even if that journey has me sitting in that sound booth pressing a button for the rest of my life, the might of God and the love of Christ is big enough to fulfill the call that God has put in my heart. I just need to relax on the journey and have my knowledge base, my experience, and my character build. So, the moral of the story is, tomorrow when I go in tomorrow morning, I need to see this place as where God wants me to be tomorrow morning, not as just a church. I’m in God’s will, I need to rest in that, and I need to trust that He knows what He is doing.

Tonight has been a fun night. I had dinner with my two best friends, and we talked about my past and the things God delivered me from, even in the past year. Maybe one day, I’ll blog about the deception and selfishness I found myself in a little over a year ago. Tonight, though, I’m just thanking God that He got me out of it and put me on a journey to bring me closer to Him.

Oh, by the way, I heard that 2 more people are joining in on an endeavor much like mine. If anyone's out there who can attest or has any comments, please feel free to express opinions, thoughts, ideas, etc.