Dead Tree in Winter

I have tried very hard in this blog to express something that was birthed in me today. Sometimes my communication skills seem to be inadequate for the thoughts that go on in my head. I pray that this blog entry makes sense and expresses my desire to enjoy God and know that He is passionate about me and you.

In his book, Practicing the Presence of God, Brother Lawrence writes about an experience in his life. He says that one day God spoke to him or revealed something to him through a dead tree in winter. That point completely changed Brother Lawrence's view on everything. From that moment on, he was determined to serve God. He also writes that it changed his spiritual life so much that he was never able to determine whether or not he was growing spiritually. His passionate love for Christ was so great from the beginning that his quest to grow seemed too hard to distinguish.
I read his account. I've even tried to stare at a dead tree in winter. I've asked God to reveal the same thing to me that He showed Brother Lawrence. Still, I am unable to get it.

Today, I was riding home from a very frustrating class. Well, on the way home, I was just thinking about things and listening to the radio. Then it happened. Out of nowhere, I saw something that I knew was more than just one of those run-of-the-mill occurrences. I watched as a bus let a little elementary school girl off at her stop. She carefully crossed the road, making sure to look both ways before she crossed. She was in no hurry. I looked down the road, and I saw a woman (I'm assuming the little girl's mother) walking towards the bus stop with a dog. When those two saw each other- when their eyes met, I saw both of them pick up their pace. They actually opened both arms as wide as they possibly could and ran for each other. When they got to each other, the mother picked up the child, embraced her, swung her around, and had nothing but joy in her face. The two of them then walked down the road, hand in hand, as I drove by. I was brought to tears, and I wasn't sure why.

I couldn't get my mind off of these two points today. I had a lot of incredible things happen to me today. Yet, I couldn't stop thinking about Brother Lawrence, his dead tree in winter, and that mother and little girl. Somehow, I knew that the quiet little whisper inside was trying to say something.

I've been looking at this "Happy Fast" as a time where I really have to focus on giving up frustration and anger. I've been working really hard to think about every decision I make, every choice I make, every action that I am responsible for. But somehow, I couldn't help today wondering if I had it all wrong.

You know, when Brother Lawrence got that great revelation from that simple picture of the dead tree in winter, he didn't start thinking about his downfalls. He didn't focus on the theological history of the church. He didn't start thinking about predestination, infant baptism, whether or not to be prolife or prochoice. He didn't take into consideration the most effective ways to communicate his ideas, the most effective practices to evangelize and disciple others. He merely knew that something about that tree had ignited a fire inside of him - a passion for a Creator, a love for someone who first loved him.

That little girl I saw today. She and her mom have undoubtedly had quarrels and spats. Today, though, they didn't take the time to stop and think about those differences. I can almost assure you that the mother didn't stop and think about the most relative way to reach her daughter in our technilogical era. I'm sure the daughter didn't stop and try to figure out why her mother would allow their dog to get hit by that same bus if and when it happened. No, none of that thought occurred. There was one simple reaction. How excited that mother and daughter were to see each other! How much love bubbled up inside of both of them from such an act of running towards each other and embracing!

I can't help but think how many of us are looking at life wrong. Instead of focusing on what I'm supposed to be fasting and the best practices for giving those things up in order to be more like Christ, maybe I should just start focusing on a God that is passionate about His love for me. Maybe I should start remembering how God rescued me from so much that I could never put into words. Maybe, instead of arguing and debating with Him or anyone else, I should just hike up my boots and run to Him, screaming and giggling all the way! Of course no one wants to get swept away with empty emotionalism. No one wants to fall into that trap of having that feel good time with no sense of depth or maturity. Yet, I can't help but thinking that no matter how much that mother loves her child, there will always be a sense of passion and excitement when she sees her. No matter how long that child loves her mother, she'll always be willing to look like a fool in front of the whole world, kick up her shoes, leave everything behind, and just run to her. Maybe I should do the same. Maybe I should just enjoy Him. On this happy fast, I want to find joy. Well, why don't I enJOY God? Why don't you do the same?