Forgiveness

What is the basis of Christianity? Ask people that question and you'll get a bunch of different answers. I have my own personal answer : forgiveness.

I've been reading through the Bible in a year with You Version or whatever the App is on my ipod touch. To be honest with you, I'm a little behind. I'm not fretting, though. I'll catch up or just not worry about it. So what if I read the Bible in a year and 3 days? Who made those rules up anyway?

I read over a story, though, very quickly that I couldn't get away from. It's the story of two brothers: Esau, a hairy older brother who sold his whole birthright for a measly pot of stew and then got angry because he was "cheated" out of his birthright, and Jacob, a liar and trickster who swindled anyone he could come in contact with until he eventually became the victim of someone else's swindling. These brothers had a hate-hate relationship. Esau vowed that after the death of his father he would kill Jacob. Jacob ran away to his Uncle and vowed not to return. This is where God comes in. God tells Jacob, after much (literally) wrestling, to return to his homeland. Knowing that Esau is waiting with baited breath, Jacob devises a plan. He's going to bribe his elder brother with gifts, put others between them, and hide in the background, just in case he's still hot about the whole stealing his birthright and his blessing thing.

Well, as you can see with the picture above, their meeting was a little different than Jacob imagined. I can just see the terror in his eyes as they met the love in Esau's. What a moment! Hugs and affection and reconciliation. It really is beautiful.

I was kind of thinking this through, and I just really had a frying pan moment with God. You know, one of those moments where God subtly speaks to you, you have this thought, and it's like DUH! (like somebody hit you with a frying pan). Forgiveness is like the whole basis of Christianity.

So, here's my thinking. God forgives us. He forgives us of all of our sins - our bad things. When we walk in his forgiveness, we are walking in the power of overcoming all the bad habits and sins that we struggle with. But His forgiveness is two-fold. He forgives us and we must forgive others. You can't have one without the other. When we don't forgive others, we can't walk in the freedom from sin. We continue to struggle with those sins. But when we walk, forgiven by Him, and forgiving others, this beautiful freedom comes where we are walking in the power of His freedom from sin and giving it and showing it to others. It really is a beautiful picture.

I know that seems kind of elementary in Christianity. It was just one of those moments where what has been in my head as knowledge for so long sunk into my heart as revelation.

My prayer now is "God, I want to forgive others, so you can forgive me. I want to be free by freeing others." And the amazing thing is, He does.

Loving this life in Him!
~ Sam

From Jacob To Jesus Part II

“Now Jacob lifted his eyes and looked, and there, Esau was coming, and with him were four hundred men. So he divided the children among Leah, Rachel, and the two maidservants. And he put the maidservants and their children in front, Leah and her children behind, and Rachel and Joseph last. Then he crossed over before them and bowed himself to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother. But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.”
Genesis 33:1-4

Oh, the air is getting hot and dry. It can’t be any drier than your mouth. That rock in your throat doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, either. Today is the big day. Look at those you love cause it’s your last day on this planet. Many years ago, you hurt him. Why are you stuck in this mess? You knew what you did was wrong. Are you really that horrible? You stole your own brother’s very pride and dignity from him for a bowl of soup. He was dumb to take it. Yet, is a drug dealer better than the person buying the drugs? How could you? Well, it’s easy to see now, in hindsight, how stupid that was. And you would think that you would learn from that. But you didn’t. Soon after, you tricked your own father. Didn’t you remember that God had already promised you would be blessed? Didn’t you remember that God always comes through? And yet, that wasn’t good enough. You decided to take matters into your own hands. You played on that old man’s blindness and you stole your brother’s life, yet again. Then you couldn’t even stand up and be a man to him. You ran. What a coward!
And now, that same feeling is coming back. Here comes your brother. You know he’s out to steal your life like you did his. You know he’s out to take back his dignity by killing the very person who ruined his trust in anyone but himself. He’s after you, and you want to run. Something inside, though, tells you not to. Your legs only seem to march forward. You can’t run anymore. That rock in your throat gets harder as you see what looks like your brother from afar. So, you lower yourself, bowing to him. Maybe he’ll get the hint that you are sorry. Maybe he’ll get the hint that you don’t want a fight.
And then, that moment comes. Esau begins to run towards you. What do you do? Do you defend yourself? Do you fight him? Do you just let him kill you in the moment, in front of your wife and your kids? What do you do?
He gets to you and you look in his eyes. There is surprising warmth to them. You don’t remember that being there before. And then…he hugs you. You stand there, shocked. Something wet drips down your neck. He’s crying. That rock in your throat turns into tears, and you can’t hold them back. Without any words, you know what’s happened. He’s forgiven you.

From Jacob To Jesus Part I

So, I've been thinking lately about the area of forgiveness. For anyone who knows me the slightest bit, they know that this area is a large source of my frustration. I'm not so much talking about forgiveness of "big" things, either. If I see someone doing something I don't think they should be doing (even if it isn't wrong or sinful), I hold it against them. And my family knows all too well that I can hold a grudge longer than anyone I know!

I've often had grand conversations about why forgiveness is so hard for me. I know that I have sinned. I know that Jesus has forgiven me. I would not want anyone to hold my past and my sin against me. Mom's often told me to give away what I need the most: forgiveness. I know that unforgiveness doesn't even hurt the person I'm not forgiving: it hurts me! I know all that in my head!

Yet, I still find it hard. Do you know what it all boils down to? Mostly, I want people to pay. I want people to be punished for their actions. Now, I don't want to be punished, mind you, for my own. I would rather blame my actions on someone or something else. However, everyone else should be. Isn't that wrong?!?! I told you I had major anger issues! I can laugh about it right now, but in the heat of the moment, it is no laughing matter.

Yet, during this time of giving up frustration and anger, it has also meant giving up a great deal of holding onto unforgiveness. And I've had these thoughts about different people in the Bible who dealt with the very same thing.

So I say all that to say this. I'm going to be posting some kind of wierd blogs in the next couple of days. It will all tie together at the end. I just wanted to give an intro to the whole concept before someone (and I'm hearing there are someones out there, although I don't know who or how) reads the next blogs and gets totally confused.