Well, it's Day 2, and things have gone pretty well, so far. I'm ending my 3 week practicum tomorrow. I'm pretty excited about that. I've learned an incredible amount of information, but I will be so glad for it to be over.
Today, I saw a girl from highschool. She is in the throws of life, and I looked at her today, and thought, "I may not exactly be happy with life as it is right at this moment, but I wouldn't want to live yours." That may come off as judgmental, but I don't mean it that way. I shouldn't be happy living someone else's life. God has a unique life for each one of us. Mine just isn't the same as hers. This is a big step for me, I think. Being able to see other's lives and still be happy with the path that God has for me is a large step. That's something I'm praying for. I want to find the joy of just being in a relationship with Jesus Christ, no matter what road life takes me on. Whether I'm sinking in school work at Coastal or one day changing children's diapers, I want to be able to stop and step back in order to find the joy that God has installed in each little moment.
Tonight I had a challenge. I have this serious passion for having professional things done right. Funny me, I expect professional businesses to conduct themselves professionally, especially when it comes to customer service (the basis of the very existance of business). The only problem is that sometimes my serious passion can flip over into anger real quick. There was an instance tonight, where I had to end my phone conversation. Tomorrow will be a better day to deal with the situation. And then I decided that I should first pray about it, give God time to work it out, and then try my luck again tomorrow. That's a serious challenge for me.
I don't like the way anger physically feels. I think I've read somewhere that when you get angry, your body really does send out something throughout your body. I don't like it. That's a good step, too. Sometimes, those of us who are angry will feel a sense of power and control at that moment. For me not to like that feeling is a step.
It is so funny how God can change a heart so fast. The fact that He put this desire in me to go through with this; I don't know if anyone knows just what a big deal that is.
Oh, I need God's grace. Isn't it wonderful?
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